Today is the four month anniversary of John's death. his ex, but more appropriately defined, my sister from another mother, called me. She is working on Boundaries with her oldest son. I consider him my step-son. I am so grateful I can and will be able to gleen from her now and in the future because the things she is struggling with are the same as what I am struggling with, just way more Intense.
She had a dream of him. I'll admit I am a little jealous, but I think I'm not there yet. She had years to move past hurt (relationship hurt) and grow into great friendship with him. She misses him terribly. He was her support for their son, the one she knew loved him unconditionally and... well, you get it. Anyway. She dreamed he showed up in a room she'd been in that was crowded with people after they sort of disipated to 'other places'. She hugged him, sat on his lap and said he was him, but not him. He was different. He smiled. She asked are you okay? Are you happy? Are you in heaven. He nodded yes. She said, 'You're getting fat in Heaven. She said he just smiled.
It gave her a lot of peace. She was crying, and she misses him, but she had something deep within her sort of shift I think.
That was really good to hear all that. To share with someone I trust completely our worries, our heartache, and ultimately her little slice of peace.
Then I went to work, after waking up feeling scared. Ever wake up feeling scared and thinking how much you don't want to face the day but you don't really have a reason to NOT look forward to the day?
Anyway, I went to work and had a really wonderful day.
It feels good.
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